99 reasons not to play Monopoly
by Dreaming of Starry Skies
Summary: They're all grown adults right? What could go wrong when playing Monopoly? Answer: Everything.


This year it had been Boyle's turn to host Thanksgiving for the squad. Genevieve and Nikolaj had gone off to visit her family and whilst Boyle was originally going to join them, the lure of being able to cook for the squad, namely Jake was too much, and like a fish on a line he was hooked.

And anything to stop Amy from being to one to cook again.

The dinner had gone well and for a moment during eating, Boyle was almost sure they were going to see Holt crack a smile, but the moment had passed and soon the table was empty and there were no courses left. The chatter died down and for a moment there was a pleasant silence, but all too soon it was broken.

"I'm bored," his stepsister Gina called out, between swiping on her phone and checking her nails to make sure there was no smudging on her nail varnish.

"I scheduled this time for us to reflect." Said Charles indignantly. "Everything is planned out perfectly. There no getting bored!"

"Alright, Amy," Gina drawled and Charles was insulted to watch Amy protest the comparison. "That's all well and good but I'm bored, and Gina doesn't do bored."

"No talking in third person!" Terry butted in, "That's Terry's thing."

"Fine," Charles stood up. "I think I have some board games somewhere!"

"Ooh board games!" Amy piped in, "I love board games. Me and my brothers would play and I would almost always win!" She smiled triumphantly at the memory and Charles melted on the spot when Jake smiled back at her. Now *that* was the title of his sex tape!

"I have strip poker," Charles called out to the heavily negative reactions of his teammates. Hearing this he kept on searching. "What about monopoly?"

This time, the reactions were more positive so he pulled out the box. It was an older version but it looked relatively untouched so Charles hoped none of the pieces were missing.

"So how are we gonna do this?" asked Amy eagerly. "Teams or singles or?"

"I'm with Jake!" Charles quickly butted in and Jake gave him a high five. Charles grinned. 'Noice.'

"Rosa," Amy asked and the other woman nodded and smirked.

"We're gonna dominate you losers," she said and Amy grinned.

"Sargent Jeffords?" Holt asked and Terry gave him a quick salute.

"I wok alone. Like a lone wolf." said Gina when all that was left were her, Hitchcock and Scully. The two men high-fived and then attempted to chest-bump, accidentally hitting each other in the head. Both of them winced, but they didn't fall down so the others decided to hold off on calling an Ambulance- or just covering them with a sheet.

"Okay, now that team deciding is over let's get on to the most important part of the game!" Jake opened the box. "Choosing the piece each team will use!"

"That's not even close to the most important part of the game!" Started Amy, but a quick look from Gina stopped her.

"Me and Jefford's will take the dog symbol," stated Holt. It shouldn't have been an authoritative statement, but Holt had the knack of making anything sound like a no questions asked order.

"We'll take the car," said Rosa, picking the piece up and placing it on the board next to the dog.

Jake grabbed the battleship and Gina took the thimble. After what seemed like an hour of deliberating, Hitchcock picked up the die.

"That's not a symbol Hitchcock," said Terry, looking like he was trying to stay calm. It didn't seem to be working.

"Back to the drawing board then," Scully and Hitchcock went back to deciding and everyone groaned.

"Take the hat and put it on the board," said Rosa.

"But-"

"Take the damn hat!" burst Amy before clapping her hands over her mouth. "I'm so sorry Captain!"

"No, no Santiago, I agree. Take the damn hat."

Scully put the hat on the board.

"So, who goes first?" Asked Jake.

"According to the rules, whoever rolls the highest number on the dice goes first." Replied Holt, looking at the booklet.

Jake and Charles rolled the highest and Amy glared at their high five.

"I will destroy you," she glowered and the look in her eyes almost made Boyle recoil back, but Jake looked at her lovingly.

"That's my wife!" He whispered and Boyle nearly fangirled on the spot, but a quick look towards Amy, and now Rosa glaring, quickly sobered him up again from his brief drunkenness on Jake and Amy's love.

Hitchcock and Scully had barely passed go for the first time when Hitchcock groaned. "We're bankrupt," he said, showing them their lack of- anything really.

"How?" Jake began, before deciding not to question it. "Let's just carry on."

"Okay Peralta and Boyle," Holt said a little later. "You need to go to jail now."

"What if I?"

"Jail."

"What about-"

"Jail."

"Maybe,"

"Jail!" everyone- sans Gina who was too busy on her phone. Jake reluctantly moved his piece to the jail square.

"One day I'll get out! And you'll all be sorry!" He attempted an evil laugh but began coughing. Charles pat him on the back until he gave a thumbs up. "I'm all good," he said, seconds before he began to cough again.

"Is anyone else getting bored?" Asked Terry, about an hour into the game. They all gave a nod or noise of confirmation. "Shall we just count up the money and see who's won?"

They began to count the money and soon it became apparent that Rosa and Amy were the winners. Amy began to do her signature victory dance, before a voice became apparent.

"Not so fast young nerd," said Gins, showing all her money. "I believe I won."

She showed them the large pile of money.

"How did you? You were on your phone the entire- but how?" Amy stammered and Gina smirked.

"Never question the powers of the genius, child," Gina began, spreading her arms out regally.

"You took it from the bank." Rosa looked at Gina.

"No I didn't!" Gina placed a hand on her heart. "How dare you accuse me of such a thi- yeah I did."

Hitchcock flipped the table. "How dare you! You took mine and Scully's victory away from us!"

"No she didn't!" Jake argued. "You two didn't make it through one go around the board!"

And then, like a glorious noise to Gina's ears, the chaos and arguing began.

"My work here is done."

 **My second B99 Fanfiction. This one is a lot more lighthearted. It was written in a short space of time but I was thinking of turning it onto a series, where they play board/card games. I'm not sure. Tell me what you think 😂😂.**


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